5) Disgrace of Gijon
A Group 2 match between West Germany and Austria in 1982 outraged the watching world so much that a local newspaper placed its match report in the crime section.
It prompted several nicknames, not least the ‘Disgrace of Gijon’, denoting where this shameful act took place. German and Austrian flags were burnt while FIFA were so disgusted they changed the tournament’s format.
So what the heck happened that evening? Well, nothing. That was the problem. Precisely nothing.
Both teams went into the game knowing a single-goal victory for the Germans would see them each progress at the expense of Algeria. Die Mannschaft duly scored ten minutes in leading to eighty minutes of ambling about, neither keeper troubled.
From that day forward final group games were played simultaneously.
4) The Spit
With a rivalry rooted in second world war hostilities, Holland v Germany – West or otherwise – has always been an incendiary affair.
On the evening of June 24th, 1990, however, at the San Siro, this battle royal of cultural differences and historical grievances was reduced to saliva-soaked farce.
The Germans were slight favourites in the sport betting and duly went ahead courtesy of Jurgen Klinsmann. From that point on it became the Frank Rijkaard and Rudi Voller show, the former twice gobbing into Voller’s hair, on the second occasion after each player saw red.
A fundamental truth that many on social media cannot fathom is that two opposing views can be equally true.
It was gross what Rijkaard did. Unforgivable. But seeing Voller twist in the wind, trying to locate the offending globule was little short of hilarious.
3) Brazil 1 Germany 7
Just imagine the football odds on that scoreline. For anyone of Brazilian heritage the winnings would have paid for therapy a hundred times over.
Nobody saw this one coming, save for liars. Both nations went into their 2014 semi-final undefeated in the competition. Tournament hosts Brazil were minus Neymar and Thiago Silva but still, this was a team packed with superstars and samba magic.
Yet Germany blitzed them from the off, racking up a ridiculous lead of 5-0 inside the opening half an hour.
It was the Selecao’s first competitive loss at home for nearly forty years. They would probably have preferred to spread out the odd 1-0 defeat over the years than suffer this humiliation.
2) Hand of God
A million and more words have been written about the ‘goal’ punched into England’s goal 51 minutes into this infamous World Cup quarter final. At least 900,000 of them focus on Diego Maradona and his cheating ways.
Let’s then switch tack and consider the following.
Peter Shilton was – and is, presumably – six feet tall. With his arm fully extended we can add another couple to that.
A seasoned keeper, the deviated ball falling from the sky should have been bread and butter to him. A gimme.
Even with the added height gain of an arm resting on his head, the Argentine genius was 5ft 7 at a push. And yet he somehow managed to outjump England’s number one.
It’s almost as if he had assistance from a higher power.
1) Zidane loses his head
As acts of violence go, Zinedine Zidane’s headbutt into Marco Materazzi’s chest pales to Toni Schumacher’s outright assault on Patrick Battiston in 1982, the French forward requiring both back and dental surgery afterwards.
But if we’re talking about controversy, a moment that had the entire world ask the person nearest to them, “Did he just….?” before seeing the replay and gasping in sheer disbelief, then it has to be the folically-challenged artisan completely losing the plot during the 2006 World Cup final and landing a Glasgow Kiss on the Italian defender, all for hearing his sister’s name taken in vain.
Italy went on to lift the coveted trophy on pens. Zidane was hailed a hero back in France because little about this story makes sense.
*Credit for all of the photos in this article belongs to Alamy*
